So I’ve been to bangkok, shopped about , spent only a little, (my purchases are limitted to a few books, a cd, and ice cream) and picked up Alex. Now I’m back in sarakham, back at school, of sorts, and back to my life. I live here. I have a life here. I’m goign to miss here. I think that’s important. When I have a bit more time I’ll share the revelations I had speaking with Dad too, just because I think they’re important to me, and Dad says they’re important to recognize in general. I saving money from work, I aim to upgrade computer wise when I get home, and maybbe even get a ps3! ‘CAUSE THAT WOULD BE AWSOME. Yes, yes it would. I’ve decided against the laptop, at the assurnce of Charla that it would be superflous and having a good desktop comp would be more useful. Y’know, maybe this isn’t major, but I can recall a lot of important decisions based on things Charla told me. Just where I was going in life, or making an effort to change things about myself or my character. She may not taljk a lot but what she does say seems to be insightful a ghood portion of the time, and I think that’s helped me make the right decisions at times. Maybe it’s because she’s so frank. But if frankness equalled insight, I’d have to have a revelation a minute hanging out with Jen sometimes (and she’s all the more enjoyable for it) but no, I don’t real;ly know why what Charla says turns out to be so important. Somehting to think about. So I guess this is a shout out to Charla, thanks for helping me make the right decsions (as cheesey as that may sound).

Alex is very cool. He’s a bit of a nerd, and a music buff, plays the guitar. He’s from Joberg, SA, translate that as Johannesburg, South Africa. He’s in my school, in 5/5 and is sixteen, like me, another leo born only a week before me. Leos of the world unite! He’s struggling with the thai food (”the bathroom’s just out there” *responds with a grateful nod I’ll interpret as “Thanks”*) and anjoys ice cream. That’s the important thing after all. He didn’t bring many books because he thought he would buy them here. Where? Not in sarakham. 

But enough about him, his computer, back in Joburg. First of all, let me say Quad-Core. Yes the $1333.99 brand new, expansion upon the dual core phenomenon is posesed by somebody I know. 8MB Cache. 2 gigs of RAM, DDR2 running at 800Mhz. 2 gigs. 800Mhz. Liquid cooling system, two thermometres to measure the CPU temp and display on side by side digital displays on the case. 580 gigs of hard drive space. Nvidia 7600 Gt video cards. Oh, wait, two of them. Why two? I dunno. Holy Poop! Buying that in SA costs a total of over $5000!!!111 Holy Poopzorz/amaze.

Best sex scene ever. Period. http://www.go-girly.com/go/121

just thought I’d throw that in there. Somebody commmented again! Major yays! We likes the comments. I’m sorry about the irregular posting, my lifes been rather strnage, every time I really think I’m settling down, there’s something else brewing on the horizon that I suddenly have to start to work around/towards. So even though many of my days are relaxed, and I will post then, if I can get to a internet enabled computer, but then I’ll go to bangkok, like I did the other day. Speaking of which. Bangkok. I went. I saw. I ate ice cream. Call me CEASAR! Bwarg! But yeah, I was totally safe. No big issues or anything. ON the other hand, (and I’m debating whether I should say this, but it’d be worse to find out another way or later, I think) apparently there was some sort of explosion in the big fair the day I got back. Now I don’t know if this was a bomb, or a gas leak or what, bt there’s been a big fair/party thing here for the last ten days (closing now) and thousands of people have been streaming through. Unfortunately it’s so loud there’s no actual possibility of  communication, even with shop keepers, due to the Bingo things every few metres with the announcers screaming for more people to come on in and check for B12!!!!!!!  Seriously, their pure volume, routed though 6 Huge speaker boxes is insane. And painful. Remember how I said once that the reason Thailand didn;t do too well in international sports was that the lacked that capitallistic competitive strive and drive? Well that’s not entirey true. They are completely, insonely obsessive over a couple of things. They practically become blood sports, raging over the country in regional and national tournaments and huge onling gathering dedicated solely to training these strange arts. These two are… bingo and scrabble. yes. except it’s not scrabble anymore, it’s “crossword” I’ve seen people play and i believe they memoize those entire “crossword dictionaries, learning words like qi, and droo. and bingo. why bingo? why the screaming mob, desperate for their next live giving fix of number/letter combinations? i have no bloody idea. deliberate lack of use of capitals, even for the ‘i’s, in an attempt to convey my total lack of comprehension for their enthusiasm.

“…recently taken over by the iron fist of Evil Beagle! ‘Me and my skeleton tank army have brought this dimension to it’s knees! It’s tasty, succulent knees! God, I love knees.’”

“Remember how I used to knuzzle your knees? Let me do that one more time.”

“Welcome to Knees To Love Christ”

People are strange.

I was on a Song Tau the other day, a minibus, coming from school. This one girl kept giving me these strange looks/glares. eventually I heard her lean across to her friend and say that she was afraid of me. Afraid of ‘the fulung.’ This made me really sad. I’d never seen her before in my life, I was just sitting on a mini bus in a small town, reading a book, and I like to think of myself as unthreatening. But just by being a fulung, I was so inhuman to her as to be scary. that’s really what I am here in smaller towns, inhuman, becauseI’m just so beyond anyhting they’ve seen before. Many peopl I meet  say they’ve never seen a fulung before. I’ve been asked to autograph people or their shirts or books maybe that’s how youget all the racial issues. Either I’m almost worshipped by those new to fulngs, or I terrify them, or both, or sometimes hated. Usually a combination there of. I can imagin the spanish arriving in South America and such a huge mix of those emoptions swirling in everybody, spanish and aztec, and wasn’t the conflict almost inevitable from there on in. I accept that new things are scary. Most racial violence is inbred into the peopl involved at childhood, not a result of shock, so we can blame them, and say how close minded they are. And we can hate people like the spanish, saying how inhuman they acted and how awful and prejudiced they were, and in some waays believe ourselves better than that and educated, openminded. But I don’t think that’s true. Maybe there is some element of that, a strict and strange moral code greatly varried from ours, but only the product of tuime, and change, not closemindedness in individuals. I believe they both the aztec and spanish, the british/americans and the natives, they all just get caught up in those emotions, to encounter something so totally new and diferent, we con comprehend ordeal with it, we just fall back upon a holier than thou attitude to find a black and white, good and evil, criminal and victim, when we can’t, we can’t blame anyhting on anybody, we can’t say it’s their fault, we can’t say one is bad and one is good, we can just say they were thrown into a river of emotions rarely fond today, and swam to oppisite banks. They reacted according to their upbringing, ont some fault or somehting that made them bad or evil, the just did the best they could, what they could interpret as right in a situation where they lost their sense of right and wrong. I’m not trying to justify the world’s teragedies, a lot of crimes and injustices are the result of closemindedness and prejudice, but I’m just saying maybe give the butchers of history a thought, not thoughtless condemnation, because that’s naught but a great hypocracy closing our minds to a situation we don’t want to understand, rather than their case which is a mind layed open in a situation they can’t understand. Maybe. I can’t claim to know or understand either. but I will defend anybody against a claim of being evil (a serious claim, I call people evil all the time and that’s almost never true, or serious)because I think that’s important. I guess that’s really my bone with all activist groups. Almost every one ends up with shippers (people who just join up because that sounds so cool), hypocrits, and ‘blind eyes,’ people who are so focussed on their cause, they fail to notice the damage they’re doing, or the exceptions and opposites. It just drives me crazy, they take it to a point where a powerful meaningful cause is reduced to petty arguments and picking on the people weak enough to go along wihth their agenda  who are the ones with their own problems to get through. And the trouble in often those ‘closed eyes’ belong to the people who actually care, they just care so much they lose track of other important things. And then there are the rare, the rational, and the kind, who are the unpublicized, unrecognized reason everything still moves, because their efforts actually tend to help and make a difference, and do some damage control for all the other nacks whove joined up, taken their uniform and bayonet and stabbed the wrong person (It’s stab then twist to the side, otherwise they might get back up and show you how to do it the right way). Andwhat are the limits? how far can you push it? When does sufering become less important then death? Could an oppressed but nonthreatening body justify attack? So often our assistance just results in people getting killed. When does line get crosed that it would be better dead than living there? What its the porportion, lives lost to people ‘liberated’ or ’saved’ how much can you help people by hurting them?  Is htere some sort of granted percentage? Oh, we’ve killed 10% of the population, and it looks like some more of the little buggers are going down before we actually get anything done around here, guess we better pull out, leave them miserable. Why does every important choice have to be so loose, and arbitrary? Bah. Morals. Bugrem all. Y’know, this was going to start out as a two sentance thing on how I hoped I wasn’t actually scary and I didn’t like to scare people. Sigh.

Over 333 hits!!!!! I feel popular. Though it slowed down recently. *pout* I supose that’s my fault. Check out the pictures of thai singers I uploaded!